Limbo.

Over the weekend, I spent the majority of my time preparing for my move to San Francisco. As I was going through my things deciding what goes and what stays, I had a lot of time to think about the past 9 months of my life. The time I spent in this apartment. The amount of time since my breakup with my old boyfriend (whom I was living with before.) The amount of time I’ve question whether staying in DC was right for me. And what I’ve realized is, is that the last 9 months to me have really felt like a state of limbo.

I’ve always been a planner. I’ve always had a boyfriend (you know what I mean.) And I’ve always known my next step. But first the first time in my whole life, I didn’t know what to plan, I didn’t have a boyfriend and I had no idea what my next step was going to be. I tried planning. I tried dating. I tried figuring out my next step. But none of it felt right. DC didn’t feel right. Life didn’t feel right.

I went to San Francisco in May for my sister Katie’s engagement party, and all of a sudden, something clicked. I still didn’t have a plan. I still didn’t have a boyfriend. But I knew my next step was figuring out a way to get back to California.

To move to San Francisco.

To start over. 

Suddenly things really began falling into place. I felt like I had direction. I feel like I had a new plan, a kind of plan I’ve never had before. A plan that involved trusting my instincts and not necessarily having everything 100% in place. Before I knew it, within two weeks I had an amazing phone interview, with a great company, headquartered in San Francisco, and a person that was willing to sub-lease my apartment. Life was falling into place, and I could tell my next step was happening and I didn’t even have time to plan it.

In 5 short days I am getting in my (tightly packed) car and heading West. I still only have half a plan. (I am hoping something comes out of that amazing phone interview, I’ll have an in person interview once I get into town.) And no boyfriend. (But I think I am actually okay with this. San Francisco, start lining them up. 😉 ) But I think my next step, is going to be the best step for me yet.

I have a great feeling that this next chapter in my life, is going to be the best chapter in my life. I’m going to get healthy + find that balance I have been struggling for here in DC. I am going to be happy, I mean how can I not being in a city with friends and family.  And most importantly, I am going to continue to let life show my course, and trust that each decision that I make brings me to where I am supposed to be in life.

(Back to regularly scheduled blogging soon. Just needed to get that out. I am exciting for the things to come, and I am excited to share them with you all.)

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6 thoughts on “Limbo.

  1. This is SUCH a respectable thing to do– something that I’m not sure I’d be gutsy enough to do myself. I’m sure that everything will continue to fall into place just as you arrive 🙂

  2. That’s great. Once we get the ball rolling, things tend to fall into place (when we let them). You can imagine your excitement right now. Feels like life is just beginning (maybe for the 2nd or 3rd or 4th time), I bet. 🙂

  3. This is such a great time for you, Jane, and I’m so happy for you! I can tell you that moving back near my family & friends was the best decision I could have made for myself. And I think it’s great that you don’t have a boyfriend right now. It lets you get to know yourself better, figure out what you want, and really just do things for yourself. You deserve some you time! Hope your trip is going safely! XO

  4. Pingback: Go Time + Stuffed Peppers. | Broccolini + Cheese

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